Control
by Sozuki
Summary: [DoumekiWatanuki] Doumeki confessed to Watanuki, but he said that he will not return his feelings. What Doumeki doesn't know is that Watanuki is running.
1. Confession Denied

**Title**: Control -- 1  
**Rating**: PG  
**Spoilers**: volumes 7 and 8  
**AN**: Oh god...this is not beta'd or anything. I don't have a beta. It's 4:00am and I wrote my first fanfic in over a year. I'd just like to say sorry now. I'm sorry.  
**Summary**: Doumeki confessed to Watanuki and Watanuki said that he will not return his feelings. What Doumeki doesn't know is that Watanuki is running.

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It was during lunch on a Tuesday afternoon when Doumeki had told Watanuki to wait for him after school.

"Why should I wait for you when I can finally have a chance to walk home with Hiwamari-chan?" Watanuki had said before he started spouting off praises to Hiwamari who wasn't even there to receive them. But since something had come up, once again, Hiwamari wouldn't be able to make it... once again. Thus, leaving Watanuki little to no choice when Doumeki had rounded the corner and started heading his way not long after Hiwamari had left for whatever it was that she couldn't miss.

"I hope you don't think I was waiting for you!" Watanuki had yelled, "Hiwamari-chan just left when you appeared!"

They had walked in silence since then. Well, silence being Watanuki half-stomping and muttering under his breath while following Doumeki to where he was heading.

Now, sitting in a cafe with a cup of tea Watanuki could feel cooling slowly in his tense grip, he could see his wide eyed expression reflecting off of the liquids smooth surface. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm his nerves.

He had thought that might have been a reason. One of the many reasons Watanuki had tried to come up with as to why Doumeki would risk his life on an almost daily if not weekly basis. But he had tried to deny it. He had tried come up with other reasons, but the longer he thought about it, they didn't make sense anymore. Then he'd convince himself that the original reason didn't make sense to begin with and leave everything at that.

Everything that Doumeki just said didn't make sense at all. But it also made everything much more clear.

Looking up from his cup still clenched in his hands, his eyes caught Doumeki's before he quickly averted his gaze to the window and the people passing by, unable to hold up to such a raw emotion.

"You knew?" Doumeki asked moments later. Watanuki turned to face him and brought his cup to his lips, closing his eyes as if to savor the taste.

"I didn't know. I just had a feeling. But I had tried to convince myself that I was wrong." He said, after sitting the cup back on the table. Bringing a hand up, he covered his right eye and stared at the table, eyes out of focus. "Yuuko had said you would have had to care for me a lot to have given me half of your eye's sight. I just don't understand."

"Do you need help to understand?"

Doumeki made it sound like he was asking about a simple math problem, but Watanuki could tell he was offering more. Doumeki's countless offerings of help made Watanuki worry. It made him worry that Doumeki was getting to close to him. He was worried that Doumeki would get hurt and he didn't deserve to be hurt.

The more that Doumeki would offer help or something as equally important, the more he felt the need to _run_.

Watanuki glared. "No. I don't."

They were both quiet for a while longer, every once in awhile Watanuki would take another drink of his tea before looking out the window again. The silence was suffocating. Doumeki broke the silence with another question,

"Your answer?"

Watanuki's hands gripped his now empty cup of tea. He was hesitant in his reply and Doumeki noticed. Watanuki tilted his head so his bangs covered his eyes to hide the longing he knew would be there. The unbearable silence from before returned, but seemed even more thick and suffocating than before. "I'm sorry." Watanuki said, standing from his chair. He dug his hands into his pocket and pulled out the money to pay for his tea, leaving it on the table. "I will not return your feelings." Turning, he left the store. He left Doumeki.

He ran.

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Well, I'm back after almost a year and a half. n-n; How is everyone? XD

I'll update this again soon! So look foward to an update!


	2. Avoiding and Found

**Title**: Control -- 02  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Spoilers**: volumes 7 and 8  
**Summary**: Doumeki confessed to Watanuki, but he said that he will not return his feelings. What Doumeki doesn't know is that Watanuki is running.

**AN**: Well, since a lot of people wanted me to update. Here's the next chapter! I hope people don't mind where this goes, 'cause I don't even know where it's going really. oo;

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The next day, Watanuki went to school like he normally did. He acted like he normally did with is words of praises to Himawari as well as bringing Doumeki's bento. When he had gotten home the other day, he had went straight to cleaning and finishing his homework. Once he had nothing left to distract himself, he had tried to sleep, but thoughts of Doumeki were popping into his head kept him from sleeping.

He felt terrible. Yuuko would no doubt know of the events that had taken place, so she'll just rub it in even more the next afternoon. But...

'Maybe now,' Watanuki had thought, 'he wont come along on these stupid missions Yuuko sends me on. Maybe now he wont get hurt.' He hoped he was right in his assumptions. Though, somehow he knew that it wasn't going to be that easy to avoid Doumeki Shizuka.

Now though, Doumeki hadn't shown up for lunch.

"After all the hard work I go through to make his damn bento and he doesn't show up!" Watanuki growled, clenching the cloth that was wrapped around the bento he had made for Doumeki in his hand. He had used one of his father's smaller recipes for Doumeki's lunch. One, he remembered, his father had used to make as a small apology to Watanuki's mother after an argument. He only remembered his father using that recipe once in his life as a child, but his mother had shared a little with him when he asked.

"Doumeki-kun said he was going to practice his archery today." Himawari's sweet voice had interrupted Watanuki mid-rant. He blinked in mild surprise before he crossed his arms across his chest.

"Why does he never tell _me_ these things? I'm the one making his damn bento." He muttered, glaring slightly at the ground in front of him.

"You could always give it to him after his practice or you could drop it off for him now if it bothers you." Himawari replied, smiling.

"I wouldn't want to leave you alone, Himawari-chan! That would be so rude of me!" He sat down on the ground across from her and started to open his own bento, determined to forget about Doumeki for now. He didn't even get to remove the top before he paused. He really didn't want to see Doumeki right now anyways. But then the other bento would go to waste... 'NO!' He thought. 'Doumeki can just starve.' He got as far as placing his hands on the lid of his bento box to remove it when he paused again. Sighing, he stood. "I'll be right back, Himawari-chan. I'll just drop this off and then be right back. I'll _make_ him eat it, even if he doesn't want it."

He left his own bento and grabbed Doumeki's before turning to leave. He really didn't want to see Doumeki, but how could he try to act normal if Doumeki wasn't even there?

It didn't take him long to find Doumeki, he paused to watch as Doumeki's aim hit the second ring from the center before walking over. He was wearing his archery clothes and seemed to be the only one there for the moment.

"Oi, Doumeki." Doumeki turned, surprise flashing in his eyes before the look of indifference he usually wore returned. "If you plan on skipping lunch, tell me ahead of time, you bastard." Once he reached to where Doumeki stood, he held out the bento. "Here. And you better eat it all! I came all the way here just to give it to you."

Doumeki stared at him before taking the offered bento. "What? No 'Thank you, Watanuki-sama?'" He glared slightly before waving it off and turning away to head back to Himawari and his own bento. He was only a few feet away before Doumeki's voice reached his ears.

"Oi."

Watanuki stopped on instinct. 'I should have kept walking.' He chided himself.

Sighing, he put his hands on his hips before looking over his shoulder. "What is it?"

Doumeki was silent for a moment before replying. "Do you like Himawari?" Watanuki was silent before turning his head away.

"Of course I like Himawari-chan! She's nice, sweet, and absolutely nothing like you. Plus, I wouldn't eat lunch with someone I hate." Watanuki continued muttering to himself as he walked away, leaving Doumeki standing with the uneaten bento still in his hands.

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Sorry about the wait! I actually had this chapter finished for a couple days. n-n; Next chapter should be coming sooner!


	3. Confrontations

**Title**: Control -- 03  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Spoilers**: Lets be safe and say you should have read up to volume 8. -nods-  
**Summary**: Doumeki confessed to Watanuki, but he said that he will not return his feelings. What Doumeki doesn't know is that Watanuki is running.

**AN**: Ah, the more emotional chapter! Yay! XD -is really getting into it-

Also, I'm sorry. XD I think I got carried away.

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Watanuki sighed as he took of his shoes in the entrance to Yuuko's shop. Standing back up, he brushed his bangs from the front of his eyes. 'Maybe I should trim my hair?' Watanuki thought. 'It is getting kind of long...'

He continued this train of thought until he stood in front of the door that would no doubt reveal Yuuko once he opened it. Sighing, he did just that, only to have Mokona jump up and grip to his face like a leech while it cried its welcome to Watanuki and he struggled to pull Mokona off. Ignoring its cries when he finally did get it off his face, he chucked him towards the ground. "Don't cling to my face!" Mokona just made its pitiful cries until Watanuki stopped.

Watanuki turned back to Yuuko, only to see her half pouting, half glaring in her seat. "Yuuko-san?" He asked, not moving from his spot near the doorway.

"Watanuki is so selfish."

"...what?" He felt his eye twitch.

"Selfish Watanuki! Selfish Watanuki!" The Twins and Mokona repeated, not ones to be left out.

"How am I selfish, exactly?" Watanuki asked blandly, barely glancing down as the twins hooked hands together and started spinning and skipping around him, Mokona bouncing up and around their heads. They started singing a song that made no sense, all Watanuki could make out was the chorus of, "Selfish Watanuki".

Yuuko stood from her spot and walked up to him before holding a large bottle of some alcohol or another in his face. "I bought this for all of us to drink together to celebrate the union of the new couple!"

Watanuki could feel all the blood drain from his face and feel it all gather in his stomach, where everything started to churn. Yuuko swung the bottle back and forth slightly and Watanuki could hear the liquid slosh back and forth, making him feel even more nauseous.

"Someone you know was going to get married?" He replied, laughing nervously hoping he was right but knowing he was wrong.

Yuuko lowered the bottle and stared into Watanuki's eyes, making him turn away and stare at the floor instead. She turned, setting the bottle on the table before picking up a different, smaller, bottle from a bucket of ice and pouring herself a cup of the seemingly random alcoholic beverage.

"So tell me, Watanuki," She started, seating herself onto her couch and stretching her legs out across it. "Why did you reject Doumeki when you obviously feel the same?"

Watanuki flinched before retorting, "You mean obviously i don't /i feel the same?" He crossed his arms across his chest and turned his head to the side, with a small frown. "You cannot expect me to tell him I like him back when I obviously-" He was cut off when an empty sake cup ricocheted off the side of his head. "The hell!"

The twins, along with Mokona, had disappeared through the door, closing it behind themselves.

"You with your inferiority complex." Yuuko sighed as she leaned back in her seat, a different cup in hand. "Now, tell me the reason."

Watanuki knew that she knew the reason, she just wanted him to say it. He glared and didn't dare say anything. They sat in silence before Yuuko sighed. "Think of this as part of your payment. You telling me the reason why you rejected Doumeki will go towards paying for your wish." Watanuki didn't move. He could do with a longer payment, it didn't matter anyways. He'd probably end up gaining the difference back after another mission of loosing or breaking something. "It would cost more than working for me two days and I'll give you the rest of today off." Yuuko's eyes sparkled.

He stood for a while longer before backing up to lean against the middle of the doors. He was panicking and could feel himself breathing harder than normal. He glared off to the side for a couple more minutes before he closed his eyes and slid to the floor, wrapping his arms around himself, tucking his knees against his chest, and bowed his head, trying to get a grip on his breathing.

He felt his half-eaten lunch churning in his stomach as he felt the urge to vomit. He didn't want to be here, he wanted to be at home where he could lay on his bed and breathe. The thoughts that were running though his head were chiding and demanding. Quickly, he tried to stop those threatening thoughts. His throat felt like it was closing on itself and all he needed right now was to breathe but all he wanted to do was run.

i He wanted to run. /i

Even if he couldn't breathe properly, he wanted to run. Even if he collapsed or passed out half way home, the urge to run made his legs itch.

Glancing in Yuuko's directing through his bangs, he didn't know how long he had been sitting there but Yuuko had finished three of the small bottles of alcohol she had and was working on another, not even looking in his direction.

He slowly moved to reach behind him and he could feel the small crack where the doors would part. Still watching Yuuko, he tensed and readied himself to bolt. It didn't matter how far he got, as long as he could escape the shop and the thoughts that were making it hard to breath, hard to think clearly.

Counting to three, he took a deep breath and stood. He spun around and opened the door. Or rather, he would have opened the door, if it could open.

"You're getting yourself worked up, Watanuki." Yuuko's smooth voice floated loud and clear though his mind. His senses went into overdrive and everything seemed twice as loud. He could hear everything and nothing but the ringing in his ears at the same time, his lack of escape was making him panic even more. Eyes wide, he slowly looked over his shoulder to see Yuuko staring at him sadly. But his mind wouldn't work properly, he i needed /i to get out of there. His eyes darted around the room to see if there was another way to escape besides the door. Seeing none, he went back to fighting with the door.

He couldn't hear anything over the ringing in his ears and his harsh breathing. But he could feel the sudden ice cold shock that traveled it's way from the top of his head down to the tips of his toes that made him freeze all motion.

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-insert nervous laugh- n-n;

I wrote this not long after I wrote chapter 2. But then I felt it was too...to say...wild? Spazzy? XD But then here I am, rereading it three-four days later 'cause I couldn't do it until now, and it didn't seem as...spazzy...as I remembered. So... I know it's still a little much, but just let me know what you think. Okay?


	4. Confusion

**Title**: Control -- 04  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Spoilers**: Up to vol. 8  
**Summary**: Doumeki confessed to Watanuki, but he said that he will not return his feelings. What Doumeki doesn't know is that Watanuki is running.

**AN**: I tried to think of ways to make this chapter i not /i cliché, but it didn't work. That's why it took so long... I'm sorry! I'll make the next chapter as original as possible! T-T

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All motion seemed to stop and everything suddenly seemed too quiet, a major difference to what had been happening a minute ago. Nothing but Watanuki's harsh breathing and an occasional drip from his soaked clothing could be heard, not even Mokona or the Twins usually contestant laughter in the any of the other rooms. Yuuko stood a few feet behind him with an empty bucket that had previously held the ice and water that had kept her alcohol cooled, her other hand resting gently on her hip.

Watanuki slowly lowered himself to the floor, sitting on the back of his legs. The palms of his hands slid down the door with him, allowing where gravity took them, but never left the doors surface. Some of the ice crunched under his legs while the rest starting to melt under the heat of his body. The cold rooted him to what was happening around him and kept his mind from wandering.

"Watanuki."

Watanuki didn't move from his spot, but settled on concentrating on catching his breath. Once he had it mostly under control, he coughed before he leaned his head against the cool surface of the door. Yuuko remained standing, letting him calm down, knowing it'd take longer if she prodded him before he was ready.

It took maybe five minutes, but seemed to take a whole lot longer, before Watanuki spoke. "The boy...when I was younger, the first friend I made after my parents had died."He was a spirit. I didn't know. He was so kind to me." He was rambling and he knew what he was saying didn't make much sense, but he figured Yuuko would know what he was talking about. "My parents...obviously." He snorted with disgust. "Zashiki Warashi and my eye." He continued to list clenching his fists, "And...the Lady." He finished before lightly banging one of his hands on the door, making no more than a quiet 'thud'. "All of them. Something terrible or spirits...something will always happen." His voice trembled and tears started to gather in the corners of his eyes.

He turned to face in Yuuko direction and sat so he was once again leaning against the door with his legs pulled up towards his chest, his arms between them. "I don't." He started, slowly looking up towards her with tear clouded eyes, "Doumeki...I can't." He closed his eyes and lightly banged his head back against the door, the tears making two small trails down the sides of his face. "I can't."

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Watanuki was too physically and emotionally drained to take advantage of Yuuko's previous offer of leaving the shop for the day. He decided he'd stay the night, against his better judgment, because he didn't want to walk home and didn't think he'd make it. Yuuko had left him alone in his room for most of the evening, checking on him once a few hours after dinner to find him asleep. Seeing as he hadn't slept well the night before, she left him until she knew he'd be awake again.

It was 1:44am when Yuuko walked into the room Watanuki would be staying in for the night. Watanuki was still laying in his bed with his arm draped over his forehead, a small headache pounding away at his skull. He didn't move when he heard Yuuko enter the room, he made a small noise in the back of his throat to show he acknowledged her presence. She was quiet for awhile, leaning against the wall next to the door and continued to stare out the window. Watanuki sat up and waited for her to start talking, his eyes were still slightly red from that afternoon and his clothes were rumpled from his troubled sleep.

"There's more to this little situation." Yuuko said, finally, turning to face him. Watanuki lifted his head slightly and stared at her with tired half lidded eyes for a minute before turning away. He knew she was expecting more from him, seeing as there is no way to avoid the inevitable. Hitsuzen? Watanuki gave a short quiet laugh. There was no doubt about it, he supposed.

Watanuki raised his hand to his face and cupped his hand over his right eye. He paused and tried to form his thoughts into words. "When I lost my eye," He started. "I think I half expected him to thank me." A small sad smile made it's way onto his lips and he closed his eyes and leaned back against the door, letting his hand slowly lower from his eye. "But he was angry with me. I didn't understand why he was angry. I still don't fully understand." He sighed. "If I treat myself in a way that I wouldn't care if I lost a part of myself, then whoever would receive it wouldn't want it because it has less value. It is less wanted." He growled and ruffled his hair. "Whenever things seem to begin to clear, it suddenly gets cloudy again." He glanced up at Yuuko with tears that threatened to fall, his hands still in his hair. "I understand," he started again, "that I don't understand."

Yuuko nodded with a small smile. Turning her gaze away from Watanuki's, she looked out the window again. "It is an instinct that humans have. What they don't understand, they try and recreate or find the answer because what is not understood is feared. Scientists look around what society says and tries to find these answers." Yuuko said, pausing only for a second. "People are searching for answers, even if the answer they find aren't pleasing." She turned and caught Watanuki's gaze. "Watanuki needs to find the answers to what he doesn't understand. Even if they are not pleasing, even if you hate your answers at least then you will understand."

Watanuki nodded as Yuuko turned to leave, both bidding each other a good nights rest even though both knew Watanuki wouldn't be sleeping much again that night.

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Okay, I know Watanuki didn't make much sense when he was explaining everything, but I blame it on the fact that he's somewhat cornered and is being forced to answer something he really doesn't want to talk about. n-n Give the basics? ---excuses

This chapter seems too confusing to me, but if I don't post this now, I might forget or get dragged back to stay at my aunts house for the rest of the week again.

PLEASE: Tell me if this chapter didn't make sense and if there are anything else wrong. Thank you.


	5. Everything is the Same, but Different

**Title**: Control -- 05  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Spoilers**: Up to vol. 8  
**Summary**: Doumeki confessed to Watanuki, but he said that he will not return his feelings. What Doumeki doesn't know is that Watanuki is running.

**AN**: I tried to make it longer. For my credit, it's longer than the previous chapter. XD

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Watanuki left the shop early the next morning, seeing as he couldn't sleep and he still needed to get home so he could change and take a shower. There weren't many people or spirits out and about in this early dawn of five o' clock which was best seeing as he didn't look so well. His hair was still messed from his tossing and turning and his eyes were red and puffy.

He opened the door to his apartment and took off his shoes before dragging himself to his bathroom. He headed straight for the tub, not even chancing a small glance when he passed the mirror. Turning the knobs causing the water to come pouring down from the shower spout and adjusted the water temperature. He took off his clothes, leaving them in a small pile on the floor, and sat his glasses on the sink counter top before stepping in, closing the stall door, and letting the water pour down on him.

He didn't leave the shower for almost forty-five minutes, by the time he had left the stall. He had long past ran out of hot water and he shivered when the warm air hit his skin. Grabbing a towel, he tiredly tried to dry his hair, which caused it to stick up in every which direction, and the rest of himself before wrapping around his waist and grabbing his glasses, he placed them on the bridge of his nose. Leaving the bathroom, he walked down the small hallway and into his bedroom to get his clothes.

When he walked back into his bathroom in a black hooded sweatshirt and light blue jeans, he gathered his dirty uniform and shoved it in a basket of clothing that he had hoisted under his arm. Glancing into the mirror, he stared at his reflection. His eyes were still a slightly noticeable red but around them wasn't puffy anymore and his hair was brushed and back to it's normal look, though still wet from his half-hearted attempt at drying it. 'Not getting hardly any sleep for two days,' Watanuki thought, 'wont help my eyes any.' Turning, he left the bathroom and the apartment to head for the washer and dryer at the end of the hall to try and finish his laundry before he had to leave for school at 7:30am.

He returned five minutes later to start on the days bento for Doumeki and himself, only leaving twice to place his clothes into the dryer and to bring them back and iron them.

When he left the apartment, he had everything he needed for the day but his strength. He felt weak from his lack of sleep, but he also hadn't really eaten anything for two days. Add in the emotional day before with Yuuko and he felt too nauseated to even think much about food.

So when lunch came around, he did nothing but nibble and poke around at his food. Choosing instead to focus more on worshiping Himawari and throw the usual dirty looks in Doumeki's direction, who had decided to show up this time.

"Would you like to try some of the bento I bought, Watanuki-kun?" Himawari asked, tilting her head cutely. Watanuki did a few exaggerated motions of surprise and worship before declining.

"I wouldn't want to take your food! I'd feel horrible! You need to eat you know, you're so thin!"

Doumeki looked down at Watanuki's bento and it looked hardly touched. Frowning to himself, he looked up at Watanuki as he was distracted with the conversation he was having with Himawari.

Watanuki seemed too lack a bit of his enthusiasm when he was talking with Himawari and his hair was a little messed up. He had heard from Himawari that Watanuki had been asleep when she went to pick him up at his classroom for lunch. Knowing Watanuki, he had probably fought pretty hard to stay awake through his teachers lesson, though that had obviously failed.

"Oi."

"My name isn't 'OI'!" Watanuki yelled, automatically forgetting what he was talking about with Himawari and Doumeki ignored him.

"You should eat." He then pointed to Watanuki's bento with his chopsticks.

"What does it matter to you!"

Doumeki stared at him. "You're too thin."

Watanuki blinked, letting his sleep deprived brain comprehend what Doumeki said. Finally just shooting back a, "Well you're going to get fat if you keep eating like you do." before turning to his bento. Not wanting them to worry, he picked a piece of food and ate it quickly. He could almost feel it slide down his throat and rest in his stomach. He started to get worried when his stomach started to churn, so he quickly started up another conversation with Himawari, hoping to distract himself.

When the bell rang for lunch to be over, they all gathered their belongings and started heading towards their classes.

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When school was over, Doumeki was waiting for him like he usually did. Watanuki had been fighting nausea since lunch had ended, which he mostly fought by falling asleep during class. Doumeki waiting for him near the gate didn't help quell his stomach. He tried to pass him, but as always it never worked.

"I don't have to work."

"You sill have to take this way home."

Watanuki growled and clenched his fists, but said nothing and continued on ahead with Doumeki catching up beside him. Once they reached the temple, Doumeki stopped but didn't go in and Watanuki continued walking.

Before Watanuki could get far, he felt a hand grab the nook in his elbow and pull him back slightly towards the wall. Surprised, Watanuki turned to see Doumeki standing close to him with his hand still firmly on Watanuki's elbow.

"What the hell?" Watanuki started and was going to start yelling at him before Doumeki cut him off.

"Kunogi said that you fell asleep during class. Are you getting enough sleep?"

Watanuki tried to shake Doumeki's hand off. "Why do you care? Doesn't effect you if I don't get enough sleep."

"Is there a reason why?" Watanuki ignored his question and continued to try and pull his elbow out of Doumeki's grasp.

Doumeki's other hand slammed against the wall beside Watanuki's head, forcing him to look up from his elbow and stopping his effort to shake Doumeki off. Watanuki's eyes narrowed slightly when they met Doumeki's and he didn't move from his spot.

"I like you," Doumeki started, "And you have to understand that I worry about you." Watanuki kept his eyes narrowed but said nothing. "That wont change."

Doumeki's hand loosened on Watanuki's elbow so he shook him off. "I don't want you worrying about me." Turning, he started to head back down the road before he stopped. "And I suggest finding someone else to like."

Doumeki watched as Watanuki ran down the rest of the street and around the corner.

"That wont change."

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Watanuki had ran the rest of the way home. Once he was inside his apartment, he sprinted for the bathroom and knelt by the toilet. He sat there for a minute before his breathing hitched and he leaned over the bowl, releasing what little he had for lunch.

'Why did Doumeki have to say that?' Watanuki thought when his stomach was empty and tears started to well in his eyes. He rested his folded arms on the edge of the seat and rested his forehead on them so his face didn't touch the bowl.

"Why?" He whispered to himself and let the tears fall.

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I'm not known for my long chapters. XD As you can probably tell. I tried to make this one longer! I really did! XD

Sorry it took so long to get this out! Let me know what you think!


	6. Fighting for Control

**Title**: Control -- 06  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Spoilers**: Up to vol. 8  
**Summary**: Doumeki confessed to Watanuki, but he said that he will not return his feelings. What Doumeki doesn't know is that Watanuki is running.

**AN**: I hit a block at the end of chapter 5...which is why this took so long. --;

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Watanuki was cold and hot at the same time. With that in mind, he pried his eyes open, only to find himself staring at his bathroom ceiling. He thought back to how he had ended up in the bathroom. The last thing he remembered was dragging himself out of the bathroom, taking off the jacket to his uniform, unbuttoning a couple buttons so he could breathe, crawling into his futon and trying to fall asleep. He vaguely remembered jerking awake and stumbling his way to his bathroom to try and prevent dirtying his floor with whatever might have been left in his stomach. Only after the dry heaves had passed, he had laid back down on the tiles and promptly past out.

Still feeling weak, he sat up and his head spun. Fighting another wave of nausea, he used the wall for support as he made his way into the living room. Glancing at the clock, he realized that he already missed two of his morning classes. Sighing in defeat, he dropped himself onto the old couch and tried to fight the blackness that was fighting to take over his vision. Even though he fought the darkness, he could feel his brain shutting down his senses. Everything suddenly too quiet and everything suddenly disconnected from himself.

Even though he fought his bodies defenses, he didn't even last a minute before everything was black.

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Doumeki paused his sweeping and turned towards the entrance of the temple. There Yuuko stood in another of her tight fitting and quite revealing outfits.

"Doumeki-kun!" Yuuko yelled, waving her arm wildly in the air as if they were in a crowded street and that was the only way for Doumeki to find her. Doumeki leaned his broom against one of the trees and put his hands in his sleeves, meeting Yuuko half way down the path that lead into the temple.

"Is there something you need?" Doumeki asked, keeping an even tone and his face expressionless.

"My, my." Yuuko laughed, "Right to the point? No small chit-chat or an offer of sake?" From Doumeki's blank stare, she continued, "Well, it's not really something I need...more like something you need, maybe?" A small, yet sympathetic smile graced her seemingly timeless features. From his silence, she turned and watched as the wind played with the leaves of the tree that wasn't too far in front of them and started on her reason for being there.

"He has lost too many people close to him to be comfortable with anyone else getting close." Doumeki didn't have to guess who she was talking about. "But even if he tried to avoid all possible human contact, it's not possible to live and not have a connection with anyone. Everyone is connected to someone through hitsuzen."

She turned back towards him, her smile gone. "He is connected to many people already, but has yet to fully realize just how many people are affected by his choices. As you may have noticed." She looked directly into his right eye to prove her point.

Her mood did a complete turn and a huge smile broke onto her face. "One of your grandfathers books will be enough. Knowledge for knowledge, after all." Yuuko said as she started to head towards the small library that held all of Doumeki's grandfathers books, Doumeki not far behind. Once she entered, she walked over to one of the shelf's, and seemed to randomly pull out a thick green book with gold lettering down the spine.

Doumeki nodded and watched as she started to head for the door and then suddenly tossing something behind her. Catching the small object, he looked and found it to be a small bottle of anti-nausea pills. "A friend at a drug store I visit often gave that to me. I don't have any need for it, so you keep it for now. Also, you might want to pay him a quick visit." Nodding again, he pocketed the small bottle.

She paused for a minute in the doorway before looking over her shoulder. "Analyze what he said that day, Doumeki, and take into consideration his actions since then. I'm sure you'll find something very intriguing." Doumeki saw a small smirk appear on her lips before the door closed behind her.

---------------------

A loud knocking on his door woke him, though once his sleep deprived mind realized what and where the loud noise was coming from, he promptly turned over on the couch and fell back asleep, ignoring anything he heard after that. Though, what little extra sleep he got in that couple minutes that only felt like seconds, was interrupted when he felt a presence come near him.

He realized he should be more afraid. Someone had entered his apartment and here he was defenseless, laying on the couch. As panic started to slowly enter his senses, he tensed and squeezed his eyes shut, fighting to stay conscience long enough for whoever had entered to grab whatever they wanted and leave.

"Watanuki."

Then he felt a hand on his forehead. Gasping, his eyes snapped open and he whipped his head around only to come almost face to face with Doumeki who was kneeling by the couch.

Relief and annoyance filled him all at once. With what little energy he could muster, he pushed Doumeki's hand away and turned his head back into the couch.

"Go 'way."

"You should drink something, you're burning up."

Watanuki groaned but didn't move. Doumeki stood and walked towards the end of the couch. Grabbing Watanuki's wrist, he tried to pull the limp body up into a sitting position. Succeeding in sitting Watanuki up only lasted for a couple seconds before he fell back down on the couch and started mumbling about being fine where he currently was.

Sighing, Doumeki bent over and scooped the boy up bridal style before he started heading for the bedroom. After covering him up with his comforter, he quickly left to get a glass of water.

When he returned, he lifted Watanuki up and sat behind him, letting him rest against his chest. Lifting the glass of water to Watanuki's lips, he gently coaxed him into drinking almost half the glass. After setting Watanuki back down, Doumeki turned and sat the glass down next to the bed. Once he turned back around, Watanuki was sound asleep.

Quickly, left the room only to return with a bowl of cool water and a washcloth. Ringing out the cloth, Doumeki placed it on Watanuki's forehead before he leaned back against the wall nearest to the futon. Sighing, he rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

He hadn't really been expecting to spend the night, but he couldn't just leave Watanuki when he was in this condition.

He thought back to what Yuuko had said about Watanuki and his behavior.

He hadn't seemed to be eating much the past two days and he supposed he didn't eat much if anything at all today. But on that day when he had confessed his feelings for the bespectacled boy seemed to have been the start of everything turning into a jumbled mess. If he thought about the day, he felt he could describe everything the boy had done during their short stay at the cafe, but the small details were thrown out of his mind if he tried to remember them. He had been more focused on what was being said and not the actions and signals that were being thrown his direction.

But his final words?

_"I will not return your feelings."_

So concentrated he was on the negative that he didn't notice the complete wording of the actual sentence.

Wouldn't it make more sense to say, "can not"? That is what people usually say when faced with having to reject someone. Given, Watanuki isn't a normal person, but it didn't matter. He could have also said, "will not be able".

When Doumeki thought back to the spider incident, it all started to make sense. But combine everything with what Yuuko had said to him that late afternoon, and he had his answer.

---------------------

It was around two in the morning when Yuuko decided to burst into Watanuki's small apartment talking to Mokona and startle Doumeki from his light slumbering from place against the wall in Watanuki's room.

Sighing, Doumeki checked to make sure Watanuki was still sleeping before getting up and leaving the dark room.

"Ah! Doumeki, how are you this fine night?"

"Hn." He watched as Mokona started to bounce around.

"Well anyways," Yuuko started and paused when they both heard stumbling and the bathroom door slam shut, causing Doumeki to look over his shoulder. "I think it's time that Watanuki takes some medicine and takes a bath."

Doumeki turned from her and started to head for the bathroom. Once he reached the bathroom door, he could hear Watanuki on the other side coughing and breathing heavily. Opening the door slowly, he took in the sight before him. Watanuki was kneeling in front of the toilet with tears streaming down his cheeks and coughing, his stomach trying to eject anything that could be in there.

Kneeling down beside him, he started to rub soothing circles on his back. He had started to calm down after a few long minutes when he suddenly tensed and turned to face him, eyes wild in panic. Standing as fast as he could, he tried to push Doumeki out of his way to the door.

"O-oi!" Doumeki cried before landing on his rear and turning to try and catch him.

Watanuki made it out the bathroom door but he stumbled down the hallway towards the living room, Doumeki not far behind him. Circling his arms around Watanuki so he pinned his arms against himself, he tried to calm him down.

"NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!" He cried horsely, struggling against his restraint, jumping and pulling and twisting.

"Watanuki."

Watanuki's head shot up and came almost face to face with Yuuko. It was like all of his panicked energy was drained from him.

"Y-Yuuko-san." He whined, throat raw. "P-please! Yuuko-san!"

He tried to struggle again, tears raining down. She smiled kindly before reaching out and caressing his cheek. Slowly, his energy left was leaving him and he couldn't stand any more as his legs collapsed under him. Doumeki slowly lowered themselves to the floor as Watanuki started to try and curl in on himself whimpering.

"Yuuko-san...please..." He choked out shaking, "Stop him..." Squeezing his eyes shut, a new set of tears fell. "He'll die... he'll die..."

Yuuko didn't move, Watanuki's quiet pleas continued, and Doumeki never let go.

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I'M DONE WITH CHAPTER SIX! And I have a couple plans for chapter 7, so it wont be an almost three week break next time! XD

I am sorry this is out so late. oo; This chapter is really long (for me) though! 1,831 words! I am so proud of myself. XD

Let me just say, that Watanuki's spazzing and the stupid reason why he's ill will be in the next chapter.


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